| oh how cliché |
[24 Jul 2014|04:17pm] |
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mood |
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bored |
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music |
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the audition - lawyers |
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friends only.
MOST OF THE TIME.
my comments are disabled.
just add me, i will evenutally add you back.
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[17 Oct 2009|10:22am] |
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I am so awkward. Shit.
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[17 Mar 2009|04:46pm] |
I just love this weather.
That is all. :)
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[24 Jan 2009|08:52am] |
I have a twitter account.
I am officially a twitter-er.
http://twitter.com/tverr
I have no friends on it and I'm not sure how to use it. But I figured I'd get one so I'd have one when everyone else gets one!
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[28 Sep 2007|08:06pm] |
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music |
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matt nathanson |
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The leaves are changing color.
And crunching under my footsteps.
It's getting colder and I like it a lot.
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[04 Jul 2007|07:46pm] |
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mood |
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calm |
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music |
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the ditty bops |
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Palm reading during fireworks.
Next week I'm getting my whole palm read.
She only told me about my life line, and holy fuck, dead on.
I am here for a purpose, I have to be. But what it is, I still don't know.
There is this hill, that we pass everytime we go to Pittsburgh.
It's about 10-12 exits before we hit the Ohio state line.
And I just want to go there and lay and look at the stars or watch firework or just run across.
I just really want to feel infinite and amazing and free.
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[07 Feb 2007|08:35pm] |
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mood |
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so so tired |
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music |
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vanessa williams - save the best for last |
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i'm not throwing up or anything
i'm just extremely tired and i have had the worst migraine the past two days.
i'm barely eating though.
whatever.
i just want this over with.
my arms look like someone has put my through the ringer.
i just look dead.
and i get so hot, i go outside without a coat, gloves, or a scarf.
just a t-shirt and jeans.
i hope this works.
because i don't want to have to go through dialysis since i'm going to be refusing steriod treatment.
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[05 Feb 2007|11:28pm] |
ugh tomorrow i'm going to be stuck with a pick line in my arm and throwing up while everyone else is going to be out to lunch and doing fun things with friends.
lame.
seriously.
lame.
i have a cold and it feels like a window is open in my house.
i think i'm just crabby from lack of sleep.
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| lj can kiss my butt |
[29 Jan 2007|02:47pm] |
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mood |
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excited |
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music |
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justin timberlake - what goes around / comes aroud |
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livejournal hates me. whatevs.
best semester ever.
last semester of high school ever.
it's too perfect.
skrocki is crazy but i'm going to love her.
be proud, my mom wasn't going to make me go to school today but i, being the responsible student that i am, told her that is not an option :)
i want olive garden so bad.
i hope my mom takes me after my doctor appointment.
if not maybe alana will go with me tomorrow. haha
happy [early] 18th birthday kayla!
don't you like the colors, hahah.
i'm getting your gift tomorrow i think!!
even though you already have the rent ticket, and you know what else i'm getting you :)
hahaha.
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[25 Jan 2007|03:43pm] |
my dad might get a job offer in california.
and i think he's going to take it if he does.
i don't want to move.
not yet anyway.
if it actually does happen, i'm staying in MI until the house sells and then i'll move out to california with my parents.
unless somehow i can manage to get a semi-decent paying job and a really cheap place to live for a little.
i want to move, but not right now.
not anytime in the next year that is.
whatevs. idk.
we will see what happens when he goes to california next month.
thank god exams are done.
i prob. failed all of them but whatevs. idc.
i'm really excited to get my little girl, her names going to be Lilly.
only four months!!!!!!!
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[20 Jan 2007|11:58am] |
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crappy |
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music |
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psapp |
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uhg
why do i feel so bad when i dont want to do something with my parents?
i feel bad cause my dad wanted to take me to the plymouth ice show but i was being bitchy and said no.
now i feel really bad. because he really wanted to take me and spend time with me.
then my mom said for winter break we could go to florida and i told her i'll think about it.
and i know she really wants to go.
but i don't know if i really want to, but i'm going to feel really bad if i tell her i don't want to.
she said i could bring someone if someone wanted to pay for the flight since the house won't cost anything, but still.
ugh i don't know.
man.
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[18 Jan 2007|07:02pm] |
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i probably update this too much but right now i don't care at all.
what's frustrating is that i feel like no matter what, something is going to go wrong with me medically.
i thought my kidney disease wouldn't screw things up right away, but i was wrong.
i can't even remember what my treatment for it's called.
but it's once a week for six weeks and it's an all day thing.
in a sense, like chemotherapy, i have to get meds through an IV for four hours or more.
I might have to stay in the hospital over night if I have a reaction to the medicine.
If that doesn't work I have to go on mega doses of steriods for six months, which means diabites, getting fat, getting a lot of unwanted hair and being ungodly suseptable to infections.
It's seems that now, since my lungs are doing good regarldless the fact that i have chronic rejection, something else just has to go wrong.
my adema isn't getting better, nor is my sleeping.
nothing can go right health wise with me.
it's annoying, but i gues anythings better than being dead.
good news though, my aunt and uncle are getting a baby boy.
i'm excited :)
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[04 Jan 2007|08:34pm] |
honestly.
i have never ever ever ever in my life cried because of pain.
i've cried because i wanted to go home, but definitly never have i ever let physical pain get the best of me.
and i did today. SIX TIMES.
and i'm still in so much pain.
i feel like someone kicked the hell out of my back.
tylonel three isn't working well.
i should have gotten the stronger stuff.
my bruise on my back is bigger than my face.
and the one on the back on my hand takes up the whole back of it.
they took not one, not two, but three samples and boy did i feel them taking that third one.
i definitly wasn't numb in that area of my kidney.
i refuse to have another one.
REFUSE. unless they give me pain meds a-sap.
visit me and bring me soup.
we can play mall madness :)
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[03 Jan 2007|09:19pm] |
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i've decided not to state anymore opinions in my livejournal.
i'm just going to conform and not have one.
it's much easier and people won't get mad at me. i can't wait to moveeeeee.
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[30 Dec 2006|11:10am] |
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mood |
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cold |
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music |
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boston - augustana |
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rip:
james brown. gerald ford. saddam hussien.
they all had an impact on america some way.
it's the three curse. anyway.
what am i doing for new years?
basically nothing. which is okay, i guess.
i guess since it's going to be a new year in 36+ hours a few minutes, i should probably do a whole
'looking back on '06' entry.
but i cannot do that.
it'll bring back a lot of things wish i could forget.
as in my kidneys. my sleep apnea. my constant migraines. my inability to walk more than 30 feet without feeling like collapsing. my constant frustration of not being like everyone else. my obsesssion with my weight. my let down for hip replacement. and a lot of other things that i can't even begin to talk about.
i'm definitly not trying to sound like a douche or like i'm upset.
but it's going to come off this way.
i am so grateful for my life and even being alive.
i wasn't supposed to live past age two.
but sometimes i wonder when all my medical problems are going to stop.
as in, i'm healthy. 100% healthy. nothings wrong.
i feel as if it's not going to stop. at least, anytime soon. i just want to be able to live until the day where my doctors say, besides all the transplant issues, i have not one thing wrong.
i've lost friends, i've gained friends.
but i still feel like a complete outsider.
goodbye 2006 + all your bad memories.
hello 2007. maybe i can finally be happy.
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[09 Nov 2006|02:06pm] |
come to the dakota craft show and buy baked goods from me.
( i'm buying )
i've been out of school this whole week + this following monday i'll be out.
sweet.let's go see borat +stranger than fiction please.
i have to go to a kindney specialist because i have too much protien in my body.
i'm dieting like no tomorrow. a nurse in my doctors office told me it looked like my face got 'more filled out'.
and that i look older or some shit like that. um no. not cool. whatevs. i'll get thin again.
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[28 Oct 2006|04:06pm] |
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music |
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without you - orig. cast of rent |
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i have a lot of homework.
and you've changed a lot.
or maybe it's me.
or maybe it's the fact you give into peer pressure like no tomorrow.
good job at having a backbone and a mind of you own.
seriously, i applaud you. it's happened a few times before, i don't know why i thought you could actually learn from mistakes and try to make things right. or not let it get screwed up so easily. btw, you lie to me way too much about things.
you may think your not lying, but you are. so stop. and you know who you are.
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[18 Nov 2005|11:38pm] |
John is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is always in a good mood and always has something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, "If I were any better, I would be twins!"
He was a natural motivator.
If an employee was having a bad day, John was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.
Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up and asked him, "I don't get it! You can't be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?"
He replied, "Each morning I wake up and say to myself, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or ... you can choose to be in a bad mood. I choose to be in a good mood. Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or...I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it. Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or... I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life."
"Yeah, right, it's not that easy," I protested.
"Yes, it is," he said. "Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people affect your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It's you choice how you live your life."
I reflected on what he said. Soon hereafter, I left the Tower Industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but I often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.
Several years later, I heard that he was involved in a serious accident, falling some 60 feet from a communications tower. After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, he was released from the hospital with rods placed in his back.
I saw him about six months after the accident.
When I asked him how he was, he replied, "If I were any better, I'd be twins...Wanna see my scars?"
I declined to see his wounds, but I did ask him what had gone through his mind as the accident took place.
"The first thing that went through my mind was the well-being of my soon-to-be born daughter," he replied. "Then, as I lay on the ground, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or...I could choose to die. I chose to live."
"Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?" I asked.
He continued, "..the paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the ER and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read 'he's a dead man'. I knew I needed to take action."
"What did you do?" I asked.
"Well, there was a big burly nurse shouting questions at me," said John. "She asked if I was allergic to anything. 'Yes, I replied.' The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and said loudly, 'Gravity'. Over their laughter, I told them, 'I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead.'"
He lived, thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude... I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully.
Attitude, after all, is everything.
"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
Matthew 6:34.
After all, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.
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